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Any ladies need their breasts suckled on?. Modern girl ( x ) I wasn�t always a cynic. In fact I started off as xxx of the most na�ve people I know, and that�s saying something considering I know someone like my brother�s girlfriend who is the most sheltered person I know. At times, I take a good , hard look at myself and wonder where I went wrong. Am I so wrong in chasing what scraps of innocence I have left? Am I so wrong in wanting to return to such a pristine state so that I can reject all beliefs that there�s no bad in people and I can only see the good? Some people have the wrong idea that being a pessimist and a realist are the same thing. Being a realist is knowing that at some point you�ll be shit on, being a pessimist is expecting it every day, by everyone and at all possible moments. But before I continue, I�ll tell you a little story, broken into different sections to not bombard you all at once. Before The Girl, before the pessimism, before the engaged lover, endless bad dates, my smoking habit and before I became a complicated mess of emotions and phobias, it was just me and my innocence. Those were simpler times I often find myself being nostalgic for. Consider this a preamble. I wasn�t out til I was x , but I knew even before then. I dated around in circles outside of my social circles and even outside my high school�s LGBT circles to avoid anyone finding out my little secret. It was hard work living a double life, covering up my tracks everywhere and trying to maintain a distance between my personal life, my love life, and my home life. One afternoon, I (had the misfortune of) meeting some xxx It was x , and I had barely turned x . It was a balmy midsummer afternoon and little did I know, this person would become someone who�d come to change my entire existence. I came to know her as Blue, since it was the color I came to associate her with. It was a sort of a long distance thing but everything felt so right, like if all the stars and planets had aligned themselves and it was as if the Universe was rewarding me for being such a good girl. She made up for all the bad in my life and all the lying and sneaking around was worth it and the first time I laid eyes on her, I was paralyzed. I might be a hopeless romantic, just never enough to believe in love at first sight but if I ever even come close to it, it might�ve been that very moment. My feet stuck to the ground and it was like was being hit by a train, making it all become very, very real. The first kiss was even more electric, I couldn�t speak, I couldn�t move. I just sat there, big teddybear seeks mamabear seeing the very face of God reflected in her eyes. Love that passionate, that pure, that crazy, only comes once and usually accompanied by the innocence of youth and I relished every minute of it. But it wasn�t always that magical. I spent the following year and a half so ridiculously committed and religiously in love that I couldn�t see how unhealthy it was. This time in my life has become almost sacred that very few people know the exact details of everything that actually happened and I rather keep it that way. Some things I�d prefer to keep to myself, little secrets that I�ll keep tucked away in my memory that I�ll take to the grave with me so I�ll save you some of the details and melodrama and try my best to outline it all. Me and Blue�s relationship was unhealthy and it led me to the brink of insanity. Our relationship was filled with lies, infidelities, and fights and feeling her pulling away drove me crazy so that when she asked me to redeem myself, I did it every time and didn�t question it. I was obsessively in love. Her redemptions ranged from starving myself to physiy hurting myself to letting her verbally abuse me about how worthless I was and how lucky I was to have her. One afternoon after x days of not eating, not being able to sleep, and feeling emotionally drained from crying, she ed and unleashed a wave of verbal abuse, I lay there with my eyes closed, trying to keep the tears from flowing. If I cried, it wouldn�t end. �are you listening to me?� asked Blue �yes� I answered weakly, hot naked chick from Banff iowa letting out a sob. ��I�m sorry� she said, her tone softening, �I only do it because I love you.� I repeated that phrase in my head, believing that if I said it enough, it would become true. I was wrong. Forest women wanting where to fuck girls Tweet